A week ago I toured our MargFMac Front Garden Loop with a neighbor (Joyce) who lives with late-stage Alzheimer’s/Dementia, her private-duty caregiver (Laura), and her daughter-in-law (Lynne). For all of us, the experience was magical and profound. The gardens that Karl and I are building for the future are indeed creating the outcomes for which we are designing and developing. Three days after the experience, Lynne wrote a letter. With her permission, I share some of her words with you:
Who would have thought that just 1 hour in a lovely garden made for Joyce to travel in her wheelchair around a .1 mile trail would be so profound! The fact that Joyce made it outside on a 90 degree day was subject enough for wonder and amazement. Thank goodness for Laura’s spritz bottle which cooled us off(I since have learned that if we apply 1-3 drops of therapeutic grade peppermint essential oil in the spritzer bottle of water we will feel further cooled and refreshed! A lesson for another time.) ! We made the loop and also found such cool relief sitting outside under the cedar trees. The heat became not a concern at all! The view of the garden and the simple conversation was so relaxing. I could have sat there all day!
Joyce, who has begun late stage frontal lobe dementia, after 10+ years of maintaing a life with early onset dementia, was more alert than I have seen her in a very long time. What joy to see her enjoy the garden and our company. Thank you for the wonderful tour of your garden and for including Joyce in every bit of the discussion of our tour. You even sang her a wonderful song that she knows from her many years of playing guitar, piano and trombone. You really had her attention when you sang that lovely song so spontaneously! After you invited us to sit and enjoy some ice water in the shade of the cedar trees and sign your guest book we had the great delight of seeing Joyce take the pen and make her own mark in the book as well!
Still now, after three days of journeying over to your garden, the whole experience brings such tears of happiness to my eyes. To have seen for myself my Mother-in-law be so happy, so relaxed, reaching out from inside her self and sharing with us the respite in your lovely gardens was a miracle and a wish come true!
You see, it is with such difficulty that I often think, what is it that I could do or give to someone with her unique struggles that would have some meaning to her. Give back to her all that she needs that isn’t care taking her for food or other necessities alone. How to simply give something back to her and enter in to her world, at her level of need. Just be in her day. Allow her peace in her mind. Allow her freedom from dealing with her life so dependent on others. Take away the isolation from the judgement that she ” isn’t there”.
Joyce has always loved being in nature whether traveling, skiing, hiking, swimming or singing around a campfire. To see her actually respond to nature again, well, that was indeed priceless! Thank you, thank you, thank you x 1,000,000!
Much love and light,
Lynne